It would seem that I have a limited capacity for anger, wrath, and general fed up-ness. I’ve been in quite a blue mood for awhile, and a big part of my emotional bank really wants to spout off, yell and scream about the injustice of it all – but when I finally do speak, I can only spew love.
Just the other day, someone really tweaked my patience, really put me to the test, and I wanted nothing more than to let them know exactly how pissed I was. But what came out of me instead was more patience, less anger, more compromise.
And it’s definitely not a backing down, it’s not a matter of putting aside what I really need. It’s about finding a better way.
This love thing is scary. It doesn’t seem to understand how much I want to fly off the handle, it doesn’t get how someone else’s actions might be responsible for my mood. It is only what it is. And nearly every instance that might warrant out and out vilifying, love won’t let me make mistakes that could disturb my deep seated inner peace. Because love knows its responsible for that peace, that its the keeper of my stillness, the tender of my thoughts.
When my brain says “Fight!” my heart says, “Wait a second, really?”
The lesson I’m learning here is that the tools I thought I forgot to pack have followed me anyway. I always have a choice between love and fear (read: hate, cause that’s what fear breeds) and I find myself making the choice for love nearly every time.
This love. This innate ability to see another’s point of view (yes, its innate, we are taught intolerance), is a calm, quiet knowing that causes one to see the good, see the ok-ness, see just what we have in common. But even better, love reminds me to rise, to shine, to bestow, to bend, to divide fear and mistrust until it is so small it cannot be seen.
Love. It’s all you need.